It's All Relative

To say that we're eager to return home is an understatement. Going on our 37th day (but who's counting?!), we can't wait to get back to the States for a bit of reprieve before Trip #2. This first trip was originally scheduled to last one month, but because we had to start the required 14 day bonding period with Samantha after we had already spent 9 days with Alina, we accepted the fact that our trip would be extended further. In addition, during our time here, the judge contracted pneumonia and was out of court sick for a couple days and just recently lost his mother-in-law, which resulted in his missing a few more days of work. Apparently, this is the ONLY judge who oversees adoption cases, so the backlog of cases continues to grow. Supposedly, he'll return to work tomorrow, Monday. We are hopeful that our pre-court meeting will take place early next week and that our formal court date will occur before week's end (we're probably dreaming with this expectation!). Regardless, we still consider ourselves fortunate. We've heard a few other stories that make us feel pretty lucky (then again, we're not home, yet).

One couple from Belgium, with no extenuating circumstances such as ours, had been here for five weeks before even getting their pre-court date. They finally expect to go for formal court tomorrow. They will have resided in Karaganda for over seven weeks. They continue to keep a positive attitude and frequently joke, "A year from now, we'll all laugh about this."

A single lady from France had visited her daughter over a month ago for the bonding period but was unable to schedule court during this first trip. She returned to Karaganda recently, specifically to attend court. It was during this time the judge got ill, so her court date was delayed. Needless to say, flight changes had to be made and her return to work had to be prolonged. Thankfully, she was approved to adopt her adorable baby girl. At this point in the process, she returns home for a month and will come back a third time to pick up her daughter.

Another couple from Belgium (if you haven't already guessed, a lot of couples from Belgium adopt in Kaz) came to Karaganda this past summer to meet their children (an adorable brother and sister) and petition the court. It turns out their paperwork wasn't completed, so they were sent back home without even going to court. From that time until just a few weeks' ago, they maintained contact with their adoptive children (who are about 4 and 6 years old) by calling them and sending gifts and letters. They visited them for a couple weeks over the holidays and once again returned home for the long wait; they will return for court in April '09. Talk about committment and perseverence!

And of course, there are the stories of folks who return home without any child. A realization that we tried to prepare ourselves for when we decided not to move forward with Alina. One single lady (you guessed it, from Belgium), was asked to consider a child who she felt had special needs and thus she declined to accept him. She was then shown a second child who had an obvious physical handicap who she sadly turned down, as well. She was informed there were no other children available. She returned home with the intent of coming back to Karaganda in another month or two.

Another couple, from Chicago, was referred a child with whom they did not bond well. From what we've been told, they had a poor experience from the start and exhibited a negative attitude which turned out not to be in their best interest. Not surprisingly, their demands for seeing other children were met with a terse request for them to leave.

A bit of a digression here, but this last story lends itself to taking a moment to acknowledge my eloquent husband. John's heart-felt email message to our agency contacts explaining why we felt we could not accept our referral was anything but demanding; on the contrary, he wrote a thoughtful message explaining how difficult our decision had been and kindly asked whether we might be able to see other girls. We were told the liklihood of finding another girl was highly doubtful and in fact there may not be any child currently available. But as divine intervention would have it, here we are with Samantha! In the big scheme of things, staying another week is no big deal (we just hope our bosses feel the same way!).