On Tuesday, Feb. 3, we went for our formal court appearance. In addition to the judge, in attendance were a doctor from the B.H., a social worker, our attorney, our interpreter, a prosecutor, and the judge's secretary. Early on in the proceedings, John gave his eloquent (memorized) speech regarding our background, why we wanted to adopt, and how Ayazhan would be raised. Then I was permitted to say a few words about how we had grown to love Ayazhan and how humbled, grateful, and thrilled we were to be entrusted to care for her. During our presentations, the judge did not look at us (which was just as well, as it made for fewer nerves); he busied himself by flipping through the small photo album we had prepared for court. After our presentations, the doctor and social worker gave their professional endorsements of us. The judge then proceeded to go through ALL of the documentation, page by page, in our dossier! Having never seen our dossier, you cannot imagine the amount of information that had to be reviewed, but if you envision a stack of papers approximately 4" high, you get the picture. The judge reviewed, out loud (which was interpreted for us), our birth certificates, marriage certificate, home study, bank information, employment records, finger prints, EVERYTHING! Throughout the 45 minute review, he continued to not make eye contact with us (we tried not to take this too personally even though we thought we deserved at least a glance, as we looked quite dapper dressed in our "Sunday best" suits). During this time, our attorney text messaged his buddies (or so we're guessing), while the prosecutor and secretary took a couple notes and looked blankly into space.
Meanwhile, John and Sherri were occupying themselves with their own thoughts. Sherri began thinking about how we had begun this journey almost TWO years ago, attending an informational session on adoption at The Cradle in Evanston, and here we finally were...in Kazakhstan, at the last step of the legal process! How should one be feeling at this time? Over-joyed? Over-whelmed? Humbled? Grateful? In shock? During this time, she felt a little bit of all of the above, but for the most part, realized she felt exhausted, as she had only gotten a couple hours of sleep the night before. John was thinking "My God? Is this judge going to be going through each and every page of our dossier? If so, we'll be here forever!...Is this attorney, who's never introduced himself to us going to be able to do his job?...Will the judge ask us any questions?"
After the review of our documentation had concluded, the prosecutor stood up and recommended we be granted permission to adopt. We were then told that the judge would deliver his decision in an hour. We went into the hallway to sit and wait. Of all the buildings in Karaganda which we have been inside, this courthouse was the only one that did not have heat. Go figure. About the time Sherri's toes were numb and John's nose was red, we were called back into the judge's chambers. He read his decision and when we heard each of our names read, along with "Samantha Ayazhan Blix" it was a beautiful moment indeed!! As is typical in times of great joy, Sherri started to cry and John was at the ready with a tissue. While we had hoped to take a photo of the happy parents following this auspicious moment, we were told photos were not allowed inside, nor outside the courthouse.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
It Won't Be Long Now
We've been out of commission for the last few days, with a bad case of the flu. Sequestered away in our little apartment, we never made it to an internet cafe to update our blog. So here's the latest scoop...
Our pre-court took place last Thursday. It was pretty uneventful and brief. After climbing the 5 flights of stairs to the judge's chamber (no Americans with Disabilities Act apparently exists here, as there's no elevator in the courthouse!), we were seated along with our interpreter, attorney (who we weren't even introduced to) and one of the doctors from the baby house. The judge didn't take much interest in us; he quickly shuffled through our dossier, took the photos we prepared of our home and family, and asked us if we had anything to add that wasn't already in our documentation. He then commented to our attorney (who looks all of 20 years old) that the date on the refusal letter that Ayazhan's birth mother signed reads 2006. The judge chided the attorney and told him he should proof his paperwork more thoroughly (for those of you who know I have a penchant for proofing, you know I wholeheartedly agree with the judge on this one!). For a brief, but fleeting moment, I thought "Oh no, please don't tell us that we're now going to be held up by this typo." Thankfully, the doctor assured the judge that there was additional documentation at the B.H. that would show everything was in order.
Tomorrow, Feb. 3 is a big day for us: formal court! John has prepared a brief, eloquent speech on our behalf. As the "little woman" I was not given the option to present to the judge. I am, however, permitted to say at the very end that "I agree with everything my husband has said" and mention that we love Ayazhan and feel very close to her, etc.. I think I can handle that!
Our pre-court took place last Thursday. It was pretty uneventful and brief. After climbing the 5 flights of stairs to the judge's chamber (no Americans with Disabilities Act apparently exists here, as there's no elevator in the courthouse!), we were seated along with our interpreter, attorney (who we weren't even introduced to) and one of the doctors from the baby house. The judge didn't take much interest in us; he quickly shuffled through our dossier, took the photos we prepared of our home and family, and asked us if we had anything to add that wasn't already in our documentation. He then commented to our attorney (who looks all of 20 years old) that the date on the refusal letter that Ayazhan's birth mother signed reads 2006. The judge chided the attorney and told him he should proof his paperwork more thoroughly (for those of you who know I have a penchant for proofing, you know I wholeheartedly agree with the judge on this one!). For a brief, but fleeting moment, I thought "Oh no, please don't tell us that we're now going to be held up by this typo." Thankfully, the doctor assured the judge that there was additional documentation at the B.H. that would show everything was in order.
Tomorrow, Feb. 3 is a big day for us: formal court! John has prepared a brief, eloquent speech on our behalf. As the "little woman" I was not given the option to present to the judge. I am, however, permitted to say at the very end that "I agree with everything my husband has said" and mention that we love Ayazhan and feel very close to her, etc.. I think I can handle that!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Samantha's Birthplace
Sundays are "one visit" days with Samantha. This particular Sunday, we travelled 15 kilometers outside of Karaganda to see Samantha's birthplace, Timmertau. It is a small industrial town that historically has been very poor and heavily dependent on the coal and steel industries. After years of relative prosperity, the city fell on hard times 10-15 years ago and eventually drugs became a problem and the HIV infection soared. In the last few years a new owner bought the old steel mill, improving business and providing residents a better quality of life (at least economically speaking). We visited downtown, comprised of just a couple main streets, then stopped by the maternity hospital to see where Samantha was born. In Kaz, there are separate hospitals specifically for delivering babies. Samantha's mom had no prenatal care, so delivering Sam was probably her one and only trip to the hospital; ironically, Sam was born quite healthy. For those of you who have had a baby, she had an APGAR score of 9 out of 9! On the way out of town, we saw the steel mill and pollution. The Billy Joel song, Allentown, came to mind. After visiting this drab town, we think Samantha will be OK living in Chicago.
It's All Relative
To say that we're eager to return home is an understatement. Going on our 37th day (but who's counting?!), we can't wait to get back to the States for a bit of reprieve before Trip #2. This first trip was originally scheduled to last one month, but because we had to start the required 14 day bonding period with Samantha after we had already spent 9 days with Alina, we accepted the fact that our trip would be extended further. In addition, during our time here, the judge contracted pneumonia and was out of court sick for a couple days and just recently lost his mother-in-law, which resulted in his missing a few more days of work. Apparently, this is the ONLY judge who oversees adoption cases, so the backlog of cases continues to grow. Supposedly, he'll return to work tomorrow, Monday. We are hopeful that our pre-court meeting will take place early next week and that our formal court date will occur before week's end (we're probably dreaming with this expectation!). Regardless, we still consider ourselves fortunate. We've heard a few other stories that make us feel pretty lucky (then again, we're not home, yet).
One couple from Belgium, with no extenuating circumstances such as ours, had been here for five weeks before even getting their pre-court date. They finally expect to go for formal court tomorrow. They will have resided in Karaganda for over seven weeks. They continue to keep a positive attitude and frequently joke, "A year from now, we'll all laugh about this."
A single lady from France had visited her daughter over a month ago for the bonding period but was unable to schedule court during this first trip. She returned to Karaganda recently, specifically to attend court. It was during this time the judge got ill, so her court date was delayed. Needless to say, flight changes had to be made and her return to work had to be prolonged. Thankfully, she was approved to adopt her adorable baby girl. At this point in the process, she returns home for a month and will come back a third time to pick up her daughter.
Another couple from Belgium (if you haven't already guessed, a lot of couples from Belgium adopt in Kaz) came to Karaganda this past summer to meet their children (an adorable brother and sister) and petition the court. It turns out their paperwork wasn't completed, so they were sent back home without even going to court. From that time until just a few weeks' ago, they maintained contact with their adoptive children (who are about 4 and 6 years old) by calling them and sending gifts and letters. They visited them for a couple weeks over the holidays and once again returned home for the long wait; they will return for court in April '09. Talk about committment and perseverence!
And of course, there are the stories of folks who return home without any child. A realization that we tried to prepare ourselves for when we decided not to move forward with Alina. One single lady (you guessed it, from Belgium), was asked to consider a child who she felt had special needs and thus she declined to accept him. She was then shown a second child who had an obvious physical handicap who she sadly turned down, as well. She was informed there were no other children available. She returned home with the intent of coming back to Karaganda in another month or two.
Another couple, from Chicago, was referred a child with whom they did not bond well. From what we've been told, they had a poor experience from the start and exhibited a negative attitude which turned out not to be in their best interest. Not surprisingly, their demands for seeing other children were met with a terse request for them to leave.
A bit of a digression here, but this last story lends itself to taking a moment to acknowledge my eloquent husband. John's heart-felt email message to our agency contacts explaining why we felt we could not accept our referral was anything but demanding; on the contrary, he wrote a thoughtful message explaining how difficult our decision had been and kindly asked whether we might be able to see other girls. We were told the liklihood of finding another girl was highly doubtful and in fact there may not be any child currently available. But as divine intervention would have it, here we are with Samantha! In the big scheme of things, staying another week is no big deal (we just hope our bosses feel the same way!).
One couple from Belgium, with no extenuating circumstances such as ours, had been here for five weeks before even getting their pre-court date. They finally expect to go for formal court tomorrow. They will have resided in Karaganda for over seven weeks. They continue to keep a positive attitude and frequently joke, "A year from now, we'll all laugh about this."
A single lady from France had visited her daughter over a month ago for the bonding period but was unable to schedule court during this first trip. She returned to Karaganda recently, specifically to attend court. It was during this time the judge got ill, so her court date was delayed. Needless to say, flight changes had to be made and her return to work had to be prolonged. Thankfully, she was approved to adopt her adorable baby girl. At this point in the process, she returns home for a month and will come back a third time to pick up her daughter.
Another couple from Belgium (if you haven't already guessed, a lot of couples from Belgium adopt in Kaz) came to Karaganda this past summer to meet their children (an adorable brother and sister) and petition the court. It turns out their paperwork wasn't completed, so they were sent back home without even going to court. From that time until just a few weeks' ago, they maintained contact with their adoptive children (who are about 4 and 6 years old) by calling them and sending gifts and letters. They visited them for a couple weeks over the holidays and once again returned home for the long wait; they will return for court in April '09. Talk about committment and perseverence!
And of course, there are the stories of folks who return home without any child. A realization that we tried to prepare ourselves for when we decided not to move forward with Alina. One single lady (you guessed it, from Belgium), was asked to consider a child who she felt had special needs and thus she declined to accept him. She was then shown a second child who had an obvious physical handicap who she sadly turned down, as well. She was informed there were no other children available. She returned home with the intent of coming back to Karaganda in another month or two.
Another couple, from Chicago, was referred a child with whom they did not bond well. From what we've been told, they had a poor experience from the start and exhibited a negative attitude which turned out not to be in their best interest. Not surprisingly, their demands for seeing other children were met with a terse request for them to leave.
A bit of a digression here, but this last story lends itself to taking a moment to acknowledge my eloquent husband. John's heart-felt email message to our agency contacts explaining why we felt we could not accept our referral was anything but demanding; on the contrary, he wrote a thoughtful message explaining how difficult our decision had been and kindly asked whether we might be able to see other girls. We were told the liklihood of finding another girl was highly doubtful and in fact there may not be any child currently available. But as divine intervention would have it, here we are with Samantha! In the big scheme of things, staying another week is no big deal (we just hope our bosses feel the same way!).
Daddy's Little Girl
It's already quite obvious that John will make a great father to Samantha. Much to her delight, he's a great playmate: interacting with her in lots of fun ways (almost all of which involve making silly sounds - which she gets such a kick out of). He'll come up with creative games and activities which can occupy her for more than 30 seconds - an amazing feat with an 8 month old! He'll lift her up into the air with her favorite past time, "jumpy pants" and she'll smile and laugh all the way down to the ground. He carries her into the "quiet room," away from the hustle and bustle of the main play area to talk to her lovingly. Sometimes, when she'll sit still long enough, he'll read her favorite book, Peak A Boo Baby.
As is his general nature, John has a very gentle manner with Samantha, especially when it comes to feeding and changing her. During a meal, there are times when you're sure she won't eat another bite and then John will smack his lips together (making a funny sound, of course) and she'll take a bite. What a sucker she is! When it comes time for a diaper change, he treats her like a china doll (except when blowing raspberries on her tummy). When she cries, typically when we're changing her clothes for a nap, he's able to pacifiy her. John is definitely a contender for the World's Best Daddy award (don't worry honey, I won't buy you that silly "Best Dad..." T-shirt for Father's Day).
Saturday, January 24, 2009
What A Difference A Day Makes
We find that each day is a different experience visiting Samantha. Some days she's high energy, kicking her feet like crazy and swiveling her hips around, other days she's low key and a bit lethargic. Some days she eats her entire meal with vigor, other days she refuses to eat much at all (easily maneuvered by blocking the spoon with her tongue). We believe that some of this variation is due to the changes going on in her area. Last week, 5 babies were "promoted" to the bigger babies' area and another 3 new babies came in; one of whom has the shrillest scream you've ever heard! Undoubtedly, the other babies' sleep is impacted from these new additions. While we visit Samantha, we also try to give smiles and reassurance to the other babies. They are ALL so sweet and need "forever families," an adoption term we hear often. Anyone out there interested in adopting?
Here are some additional photos of Samantha in her various moods.
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